The Best Jokes from the 2017 White House Correspondents’ Dinner
If there were any doubts that President Hillary Clinton’s first White House Correspondents’ Dinner would be anything less than a raucous and hilarious affair, those doubts were put to rest last night. There are almost too many highlights to share, but here are some of her best zingers from the evening:
“I was disappointed to hear Mike Huckabee couldn’t be here tonight. From what I gather, he’s still stuck in traffic. Maybe he should’ve let a woman drive.” (This refers to an off-the-cuff sexist joke about women drivers the 2016 Republican presidential candidate made at a campaign stop in San Antonio next year. The joke is funnier if you understand that context.)
“No but really, I was incredibly nervous about tonight’s dinner. You could say I was on misspelled pins and needles.” (There was an incident at one of Clinton’s campaign events in Cincinnati in which many buttons with Hillary Clinton’s name misspelled on them were distributed to the crowd. Her staffers made matters worse by trying to collect the pins back from everyone once they realized the error. It was a big thing for like a week. If you understand that reference, this joke is funny.)
“You know, I could really go for a Dr. Pepper right now. Can someone check Jeb Bush’s pants?” (The context here is Jeb Bush famously spilled a large Dr. Pepper on his lap during a live interview in Phoenix. The YouTube video has been viewed more than 20 million times. Knowing that, go ahead and reread the joke so it makes more sense.)
“Chuck Todd is here, I believe. Oh yes! Hello Chuck. How’s violin practice going?” (The Best Picture Oscar winner in 2016 was a film called Nights of Thereafter and there’s a scene in it in which the main character is teaching violin lessons to a man who looks eerily similar to Chuck Todd. It became something of a meme, and Chuck Todd even referenced it on Meet the Press. Everyone at the 2017 White House Correspondents’ Dinner knew this, and if you knew it too, you’d agree that the joke is funny.)
“If I seem a little off tonight, I apologize. You see, I’ve been having some trouble sleeping. Bill, did we really need to let Ky-Ol build a studio in the White House?” (A few things to know about this one: a) Ky-Ol is a really hot rapper/producer in 2016. b) He’s infamous for being a hard partier and has on several occasions completely trashed his studios in drunken, drug-fueled debauchery. c) Former president Bill Clinton is known to be a big fan of Ky-Ol’s music and recited some of his lyrics on an appearance on Jimmy Fallon, which a lot of people found amusing. So, knowing these 3 things should help you understand the joke a bit more.)
“Sorry there’s a bit of a glare distracting me up here. Would you mind turning the house light away from Rand Paul’s head?” (Rand Paul had a public meltdown and shaved his head after losing the Republican nomination to Jeb Bush.)
“I’ll just have to be sure to Make It Myra right after I flash eight and Make It Clear-a to Roscoe and Jake who’s in charge here.” (There are 5 different references in this to events that haven’t occurred yet that would take too long to explain. But this got the biggest laugh of the night.)
“And lastly, we remember tonight all those who have lost their lives in the U.S.-Canadian Conflict, and as your Commander-in-Chief I remain as resolved as ever to end this war as quickly and as decisively as possible.” (Not a joke. Just a completely insane and unexpected turn of events.)
